it’s not for me

it’s not for me

it’s not for me

to take on the shitstorm of suffering

passed on across generations

asking for my complicity in perpetuating

the emotional disfigurement

we are trying to escape

it is not for me to bear the fallout from the pain

caused by violating innocence

it is not for me to endure the scars

born of generational misery

when solace was sought in abuse

when lashing out was covering wounds

and yet my heart is bleeding

from your knives

not forged in my village

from your arrows loosened on a long-forgotten battlefield

my tears barely held in check

and my soul at risk of hardening

I can’t take back time

from the moments it was lost

but I can stop running from unresolved pain

laying down my armour

trusting you will take yours off too

disrupting the circle of hurt

diving deep

and coming alive in connection,

bringing shared joy, laughter, and pleasure

back to light again