Why I don’t care what you think of my writing & the art of touch

Photo by Green Chameleonon Unsplash

I don’t care. I don’t care what you think about my writing. My words are a journey of self-reflection and growth, not meant for your scrutiny.

I write solely for myself, engaging in a dialogue with my own thoughts. I am having a conversation with myself. You are most welcome to listen in. And maybe it will resonate. But I am not writing with that in mind. Your judgments and critique are less important to me, even though I aim to enhance my self-expression.

A friend once aptly put it, ‘I speak in order to listen to what I need to hear’. My writing does that. It is what I need to listen to. It is what I need to hear.

I speak in order to listen to what I need to hear.

My writing serves that purpose, offering me a chance to listen to my inner voice. Putting pen to paper is my outlet, processing and feeling every inch, with all my rough edges and imperfections. While building my self-acceptance, I am filling my cracks and broken bits with gems and precious metals. Bit by bit, I am allowing those gems to shine through, not ashamed of my weathered experience and the numerous mistakes and falls I took.

I awaken unapologetically to a life meant to be lived, danced, with ever changing lyrics to the songs I am singing and no fairy-tale endings.

I no longer seek to protect my heart from living, feeling and sensing. My heart is beginning to free itself, and in that process, it wants to experience everything, unselected, unfiltered, unafraid. So that I can meet my world with discernment, creating an increasing choice while heightening my responsiveness. I intend to open my heart as wide as possible, hearing, seeing and feeling, surrendering to uncertainty. I am making space for what is, reaching for appreciation and enjoyment of what I have and can create. 

Voicing my thoughts is getting them out of my head and mind. It is giving them a life independent of me. Sometimes, this creates understanding and meaning. And sometimes, it invites connection. By committing my experiences to paper and expressing what shows up, I am allowing new possibilities to emerge, feeling into experiences that might not have an explanation.

By day, I am a bodyworker, therapist, tutor and dad, practising the art of touch, and in between my thoughts make it onto paper.