no waiting

not waiting not waiting in the wings for my moment to shine in your light not anticipating  you are finding rest in our closeness not expecting  to move from understudy to supporting role with regular parts to play I am not waiting to be called onto the stage having rehearsed plenty I am stepping out…

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weird

Photo by Kyle Brinker on Unsplash Weird if you think me weird for loving with an unconditional openness  because I can not do any different then yes,  I am weird if I seem weak to you for being vulnerable and honest  when expressing how I feel then yes,  I am weak if you consider me…

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beyond us

image by Ewa Ka on Facebook beyond us giving you what you wished for seemed beyond me giving me what I wished for seemed beyond you quietly hoping we would mend our oblique emotions and thaw what was frozen in time foolishly trusting the clouds shrouding our joyous being would somehow part that we would…

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it’s not for me

Photo by Reza Hasannia on Unsplash it’s not for me it’s not for me to take on the shitstorm of suffering passed on across generations asking for my complicity in perpetuating the emotional disfigurement we are trying to escape it is not for me to bear the fallout from the pain caused by violating innocence it…

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understanding nothing

Photo by Önder Örtel on Unsplash understanding nothing not knowing what deeply resonated, invited and seduced me to be near you no clue what tied our souls touching me to the core nothing I chose not in this lifetime, no you left me understanding nothing but feeling everything

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sentiments

Photo by Q Q on Unsplash sentiments exploring and expressing sentiments  are pivotal to my transformation  you might disagree with how I see things and without talking you can not change my perspective how I remember things how I interpret my experience my process embraces beautiful memories and uncomfortable reflections, projections and assumptions touching on…

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moments to be treasured

Photo by DaYsO on Unsplash moments to be treasured no promises no expectations made each encounter a curious exploration  a playful expansion of our souls every moment we shared a cherished experience missing you now does not distract from what we gave each other treasured though fleeting lasting long enough to remain alive in me

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dancing with unavailability

Photo by Thom Milkovic on Unsplash dancing with unavailability not assuming unworthiness or disappointment the mysterious bond we formed  confused me  when dancing with your unavailability reflecting your needs dressed up as freedom with past expectations intruding it felt unsafe and painful at times yet what a perfect pairing  we made touching on our wounds when…

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your silence

Photo by Armin Lotfi on Unsplash your silence when I noticed something  had changed  and turned different for you your silence had me guessing fostering confusion fuelling assumptions and projections triggering ( unavoidable ) pain when you moved on to say not much at all about how you felt other than respecting your choice I…

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never understood

Photo by Jack Ward on Unsplash never understood I never understood the pull towards you the strong desire  to be near you the ease with which our souls merged maybe for you, it was mere flattery welcoming my curiosity  playfulness my open-hearted being parts of me, I sense were seeking to feel the open scars…

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no voice

Photo by Thiébaud Faix on Unsplash no voice in spite of committing more words than you can read onto paper in spite of speaking up sharing how I feel  I have not found my voice I am not heard, seen, nor felt my voice is not free a mere squeak with no range and volume…

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noticed

Photo by Shubham Dhage on Unsplash noticed have you noticed  how quickly we are able  to return to peace and make up if we pause  listening to stillness speak instead of guarding our defences how easy it is to be present  with our missteps if we begin to trust each other with what we prefer…

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